You are reacting to the good things of life. You are pushing yourself too much to do good, be good, be right, and to properly process everything around you. Part of you holds back due to trouble expressing how you feel. Your ideas are unprocessed because of the underlying fear that keeps the inner commotion and tension.
Learn to love your filters that are filled with past judgments. Gradually work through your judgments until you are clear and objective with your actions and reactions to life. Expect to be disappointed sometimes. Expect the unexpected. Enjoy the ups and the downs. Life is a lot of fun, especially when you take the bad with the good and work it through filters of enjoying all aspects of life experiences.